World Without a Snow Day or WTF Ohio?

I heard on the radio yesterday a story about Ohio. A school district there is testing a new system. On inclement weather days, instead of canceling school, they will hold class online.

This is a test. If it is successful it could be rolled out to other districts.

There are two reasons that this story doesn’t affect me personally. First, I am not in school. Second, I do not live in Ohio. So, it should be easy not to care.

But, c’mon. No snow day?

Now, I understand that a good education is important and we can argue all day whether or not school is the place to get it. But, no snow day?

I remember not having snow days. Until I was 8 I grew up north of the border. We walked to school in the snow. And, to play into the old whine, it was uphill both ways because the plows didn’t come around until after the first bell rang. And if you didn’t climb every drift on the way home you just weren’t doing it right.

I imagine it would have to be pretty severe to cancel school in any locale that frequently gets snow. That alone would be a reason to watch reruns of Hogan’s Heroes all day.

It’s different for us in Texas. We don’t get much snow. And, if it does snow, the white stuff could be gone by noon. If it’s too dangerous to travel the roads, it’s perfect to get out and play in. If the kids are stuck online “learning” then it melts away and a great experience is lost.

And, what about the excitement of listening to the closure announcements? It’s the only time I ever listened to the news back then. That in itself was educational.

Snow Day is the only surprise out that kids have short of a gas leak. It’s the one moment that school doesn’t have a soul crushing grasp of them. It’s the one loophole that gives kids hope.

With this new program, what are we telling them? If you can’t come to school, school will come to you. You are not safe in your own home. It’s not unlike Orwell’s thought police. Exactly like Orwell’s thought police.

The bell has to ring. Summer has to come. And snow must fall to give kids the hope that at some point, if even for a moment, the repetitive droning of teachers will cease, if only for a day.

On the plus side, if it works just fine there would be no reason to go to school ever again. If the online session qualifies the same as a makeup day we could shutter the schools and do everything online.

That would save a ton of money. No heating. No cooling. No lights.

But, it would have a ripple effect in the economy. Off-white paint manufacturers would be left with a glut of bone marrow white in their inventory. Without book covers pizzerias would have one less place to print coupons. Fat kids would go unbeaten up. Ram/Longhorn/Viking/Cougar/Wildcat/Eagle/Panther spirit would go un-rahed. Teachers would go unignored. Popular bands would loose publicity gained from once prolific desk carvings. School elections would may remain meaningless but poster board sales would take a hit. Future public speakers will not get to hone their skills on the PA system by reading the lunch menu. And, who, who on God’s green earth is going to wear that many hair nets?

Maybe they should get the day off. Maybe reading chapter 28 to the class for the second time after they have read chapter 28 on their own can be skipped. Maybe history will stay the same until the skies clear. Maybe x can remain unsolved just this one time so that our economy doesn’t suffer.

Give the kids their snow day, Ohio, and quit throwing yellow snow on their parade.