They're all going to laugh at me

We got the twins bikes for their birthday. In May, my oldest will get a new bike for his birthday.

In order to keep up with them, and have an excuse not to carry their bikes when they get tired, my wife and I have decided to get bikes in May as well.

I have not ridden a bike since...I was going to say since I got my driver's license, but I think it was well before that since I gave up the bike for a skateboard. Either way we're talking more than 20 years.

I doubt that I've forgotten how to ride one but I started to think what kind of bike to get.

We walked the rack at the sporting goods store and I realized that I was in way over my head. I didn't see anything that looked like the last 10-speed I had. There was nothing with the curved handlebars. And there was any geared bike with less than 20 gears.

There were the big Schwinn cruisers. No, thanks. I had some pretty crappy hand-me-downs early on and I remember how heavy those things were. No fun to peddle. These at the store didn't even have a banana seat-no redeeming qualities. I can't even begin to guess why these steel monsters came back.

I live with minutes of the best mountain biking trails in the area. So a mountain bike is out. If I got one I would slowly convince myself that I should hit the trails. Then there would be a funeral and the kids would cry and nobody wants that.

I don't need a street bike or hybrid. I'm not going to be pedaling around for my health and holding up traffic. 

So, what am I going to get? A Haro. A freestyle Haro. Why? Because I always wanted one and couldn't afford it. Now I can. Before there was skateboarding there was freestyle biking. There was the movie Rad. And, although Crue Jones was a total douche, the tricks were a lot of fun.

When I rode back then, I wasn't big enough to pull off some of the tricks (I'm not talking back flips here). Sure, I'm too big now but I get to pick my own bike out so I'm getting a Haro, with pegs, a rotor everything.

I won't ever be able to pull off a cherry picker, but I'm going to bunny hop the crap out of that thing.

(Note: I'm under no allusions here. I realize I'm probably going to hurt myself. But, I'll have a helmet this time. Thank you, Mr. Government.)